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FEMALE
PRAYER:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I
pray for man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
when
I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages
my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows
what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to
no end,
and always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a
boat.
this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit
Amen.
Texas Midget
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about
his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants.
The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left
testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doctor,
and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and
reached for his surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The midget
was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does
that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied
"I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
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